This is What Happened When I Stopped Playing Tournaments

I didn’t intend to quit pool tournaments. I got busy, then I enjoyed the peace.

This past May, I advanced to the finals of three tournaments in three days (I won 1). I was over the moon believing that I was striding into the next phase of my pool career. Then in my next two tournaments, I had lackluster results, and let’s just say that I did not handle the losses graciously. Nothing lasts forever.

This is a picture of me on 6/22/24 at the last tournament I played (before I lost, of course). Photo credit: Cony Mendoza

Feeling jaded, I wrote an article about how stupid it is to tell people not to care about the outcome because everyone does. My blog posts are not permanent fixes to my mindset pitfalls. They are part of my journey to self-acceptance.

I knew I needed to figure things out before competing again, so I considered a break from tournaments starting in mid-June. I had no time for tournaments anyway. I had to prepare for a trip.

Enjoying Life and Re-establishing Balance

My summer has been full of adventures, most notably, a trip to Egypt at the beginning of July. I figured I would compete again when I returned, but my weekends were suddenly filled with anything but pool. I accepted invitations to concerts, parties, and parks. I also visited Southern California. I continued practicing pool and playing on league nights.

I stand on the side of the Great Pyramid Khufu in awe of its magnitude.

Me “kissing” The Sphinx at Giza Necropolis in Egypt.

My first blog post was about balance but it wasn’t until July that I truly understood the importance of decentering pool tournaments. I wrestled with the fears of moving away from my dream and losing my identity. Before my break, I was playing in several tournaments a month. Balance is knowing when to shift priorities. Identifying when you’re off balance is the biggest challenge.

I’ve been off balance for a while. The try-hard and fearful way that I pursued pool has been a hindrance. I’m also dealing with other real-life struggles like my mom’s health issues and my financial state that is a consequence of quitting my full-time job last year. All these things affect my mental game.

Redefining Work and Practice

My time off from a job has been essential for rest, healing, improving my game, and expressing my other talents. Now I know that work is not a barrier to my dream of competing in pool at a high level, it is a tool for my freedom. In 2016, I had a conversation with one of the top women players in the US who encouraged me to start playing tournaments. Eleanor “El” Callado also warned that playing pool for a living detracts from the fun of it. Sometimes you can’t fully comprehend something until you experience it yourself.

I also discovered that practice doesn’t have to be solemn. Yes, you must go into practice sessions with a plan but it should not be tense. This summer was the first time I had a practice session that was curious, slow-paced, and calm.

I focus on the quality of my preshot routine and the delivery of each shot. I’m not checking off a to-do list, I’m getting curious about the results. I analyze how I can get the balls to do what I want by tuning into my body and exploring how different shots are supposed to feel. My practice routine is simple: I practice problem shots, the mighty x drill, and a 9 ball drill. That’s it.

As Pool Player, You Are a Business

I thought I wanted to be a writer for a living, but I don’t want to be an entrepreneur. It’s nice to develop skills and make a small income on the side, but freelancing is not for me. I put in a lot of unpaid effort to play and improve at pool and an additional entrepreneurial endeavor is exhausting.

“I’ve said for years, it’s very important to manage yourself correctly as a player. You’re a business. If it doesn’t make money, it don’t make sense,” world-traveling professional player, Oscar Dominguez, shared on Facebook. Though I’m not on his level, going to every event and not cashing (or cashing for small amounts) wasn’t adding up in my current financial state. I’ll be focusing on what makes sense and continue to adjust the level of risk I am comfortable with as circumstances change.

Knowing My Strengths and Interests

Remember when I was in three finals in three days? That was all 8 ball. The two disappointing tournaments after that? They were 9 ball.

I got into pool because I like solving puzzles (8 ball, sudoku, and jigsaw puzzles are my jam). I like 9 ball, but it’s not my game. I’m finally willing to admit that. I came to believe that 8 ball was a lesser game because it’s not what the pros play (I asked El about this too: 9 ball is good for TV because it’s more dynamic). For eight years, I tried to force myself to do what the pros do.

Taking a break from tournaments has helped me accept that my strength is in strategy and my game is 8 ball. Even better for the sport, Ultimate Pool is paving the way for hosting and streaming professional 8 ball tournaments.

No matter my level of disposable income, I don’t care much for playing pool for money (gambling against another player). I’d rather commit to a full day playing through a tournament bracket and hopefully reach the top.

“Pool Will Be There When You’re Ready.”

These seven weeks have been refreshing, and you know what? I’m playing pool better. I refined my fundamentals at the beginning of this year and now I’ve fully integrated the changes. These changes are making shots that I don’t practice easier. I’m running out more (making all your balls on your first turn at the table). I’m getting closer in matches (8 and 9 ball) against better players.

I was always afraid that if I didn’t do things a certain way, I wouldn’t reach my goals. Coming to terms with this fear has helped me find what life is calling me toward. It turns out that I don’t have to do that much to get where I want. I watched a video recently in which the author said, “Know what you actually want instead of what you want to want.” I wanted to want 9 ball. I’ve had some success in 9 ball tournaments but I haven’t had a high finish in at least a year.

The tournament break changed the way I approach competition. It has been helpful to realize that I only need to make decisions about what works for me right now. Inevitably, I will reassess in the future. I’m ready to play 8 ball tournaments again. For now, I’m practicing 9 ball through drills and friendly play. When I return to 9 ball tournaments, my head will be clearer.

I think about that conversation with El often. This was her last piece of advice from that day, “Focus on growing your skills and pool will be there when you’re ready.” Likewise, I was inspired by a Vox article about pop star Chappell Roan’s sudden blowup and I learned that you become an “overnight success” when you find yourself. I think I found myself…and I’m an 8 ball player.

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Pocket Watch: A blog to share the lessons learned about the mental game of pool and billiards written by a competitive pool player on her road to pro. (#10)