This is Why Books About the Mental Game of Pool Never Work for People Like Me
I had an epiphany last week.
I was having tea with a friend while we chatted about the mental game of pool. He explained that the war-like nature of competition can turn on your body’s fight, flight, or freeze response. This is when your nervous system shifts into a state of hyper-arousal meant to help you survive in dangerous situations.
Fight, flight, or freeze can also be triggered by stressful situations, or memories thereof, which will cause your body to think it’s in danger when it’s not.
Your subconscious mind and your body will remember the pain and want to prevent that from happening again.
Sympathetic nervous system activation is normal from time to time, but if you stay in hyper-arousal mode for long periods of time, you can become dysregulated, resulting in more fight, flight, or freeze triggers when they aren’t necessary. This may happen as the result of trauma or an anxiety disorder, for example.
Hypo-arousal is dysregulation on the inactive side of the spectrum (parasympathetic nervous system), but for this post, I’m focusing on hyper-arousal.
Frequent triggers cause your nervous system to become dysregulated and more sensitive to stimuli.
Before I was aware of my dysregulated nervous system, I couldn’t figure out why I had such a hard time sticking to advice about the mental game.
Most advice that’s written in books about the mental game is for the individual with a regulated nervous system which doesn’t stray too far from neutral for very long.
My nervous system is used to hyper-arousal. This is why books about the mental game of pool never worked for me until I started regulating my nervous system.
I’ve read several books, more than once. They would help me for a bit, but soon enough I would need another tool to get good results.
Behavior modification works on the conscious level but our bodies respond subconsciously, therefore, the “just do it” or “change your thinking” advice can’t be sustained by a person with a dysregulated nervous system.
We cannot make great sustained changes in our lives when we are living in a state of chronic dysregulation.
If you have a dysregulated nervous system, like me, you need to actively take in cues of safety from your environment to counteract subconscious reactions. My nervous system cannot attune to mental game advice because it’s too busy thinking I’m dying every time I shoot a 9 ball.
Expanding Your Window of Tolerance
Nervous system dysregulation can prevent you from seeing your goals through. For example, you might quit too soon because trying new things feels unsafe.
You need to orient your nervous system to new situations and environments before you can feel safe enough to surpass your upper limit. Otherwise, you’ll self-sabotage because it’s too much to handle.
People on the hyper-arousal side of dysregulation perceive more situations as dangerous or life-threatening and have a hard time entering the window of tolerance. The window of tolerance is an ideal state of arousal where you are engaged with life and able to handle stressors effectively.
Understanding this is half the battle.
I experience dysregulation while writing these blog posts too. After posting, I enter hypo-arousal (exhaustion plus avoidance of the next post). Then, by Sunday I switch over to hyper-arousal in an attempt to meet my deadline.
I see the pattern and I’m actively working through it. The goal is to have a more steady pace, which will make the process easier and more enjoyable.
If you’re anything like me then please have grace for yourself and hang in there. Focus on the lifestyle changes that you can make to regulate your nervous system and increase your window of tolerance.
What To Do About Dysregulation
Many of us are living in dysregulation because of everyday stressors like high-stress jobs, overwork, racism (and other isms), traffic, and information overload. Coming into regulation from dysregulation will take time and possibly professional support that goes beyond the scope of this post.
Here are a few things you can try.
- Notice the patterns you want to eliminate and ask yourself why you do what you do.
- Meditate. I used to scoff at meditation until I found a practice that worked for me.
- Breathwork. Just like meditation, there are many ways to do this.
- Work with a Clinical Sports Psychologist or another professional who can give you personalized tools, like:
- Mindfulness
- EMDR
- EFT
- Somatic Exercises
I’m taking the time to regulate my nervous system and I’m happy to chat with you about this process. Feel free to reach out.
Much of the explanation of the nervous system in this article came from neurodivergentinsights.com: (The Window of Tolerance: How to Better Handle Stress & Up and Down Regulation)
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Pocket Watch: A blog to share the lessons learned about the mental game of pool and billiards written by a competitive pool player on her road to pro. (#06)
